Don't Tell Me My Pain Is Beautiful

5/28/23

My anger wrote this poem after I shared a different poem with a friend of mine, and their response was that it was beautiful. And that made me feel what my anger was feeling. Which really wasn't anger, my anger was feeling hurt. It hurt that they said it was beautiful, so anger did what it does best. It protected me with this poem. So if this poem feels angry to you, it fucking is. It's anger and pain.

Don’t Tell Me My Pain Is Beautiful

Don’t say these expressions are beautiful 

Don’t tell me these words are lovely

Until you’ve taken the time 

To allow them to redefine your perspective 

Of another's experience

Don’t tell me you love my poems 

When these words are written by my pain

Tell me you learned something from my words 

Tell me you’ve never seen someone write without reservation

Tell me these words took you away

To a place in you 

You didn’t know existed

Tell me these words impacted you 

In such a way 

You’re going to change your ways 

Give me the dignity

Of simply listening 

to these words that hurt to write

Don’t tell me these words are beautiful. 

There is no beauty in my pain 

That’s an ugly thing to say. 

Don’t tell me that beauty comes from my pain. 

This is my pain

Not a perspective that needs changing

Do not tell me to look on the bright side. 

While I'm surrounded by darkness

Do not tell me to be more positive. 

Do not tell me to find the silver lining.

Do not tell me to focus on the good. 

Do not tell me to not feel 

These parts of me deserve to be known. 

Do not tell me to not think about 

The very things about which 

I cannot stop thinking.

Do not try to cheer me up. 

I desperately need to learn to feel sadness

Do not try to make me happy.

I need to learn to sit with my pain

Do not try to fix me. 

I am not a problem

There is no solution for being human

Do not try to help me.  

Do not try. 

You do not know me. 

You never have. 

If you want to help me, shut the fuck up and listen. 

Are you listening?